10 1/2 Months old

Seriously, come on. Time is FLYING by. My girls are now 10 1/2 months old.

How did this happen? I see the photos on my Timehop from this day last year and they are all of my swollen feet and legs or videos of my big ol’ belly with little legs and arms moving from inside. I can’t believe they are almost 1 year old. It is true what they say about the days being long but the weeks and months go by so fast.

Sydney and Harper. Silly, crazy, happy, hilarious little buggers. They certainly keep me on my toes. I have begun planning their “pink and gold” themed first birthday party for months. I have a prize punch game for the kids with dollar store toys and an adult prize punch with mini liquor bottles and scratch off lotto tickets. The décor has been planned for months and I have spent many hours cutting tissue paper to make tassels and spray painting wooden frames with gold glitter paint. Who knew a one year old birthday party would be so damn stressful!?

We are having the party at our house on May 28, in the basement and leading into the back yard. We have never had a large group of people over to our house and I am very nervous about making sure everything is perfect (and clean!). I need lots of prayers for perfect weather because a bubble station would not quite work inside or in the rain and weather in the mid west is extremely unpredictable!

My husband INSISTS that his friends will only want to come if there is a keg (really?) so of course, he assigned himself to that duty. My in laws and parents are going to help out a ton with food and my sister in law is the cake queen and will be making both smash cakes and the guest cakes. We also have a smash cake photo shoot on mother’s day that I will be attempting to make the cakes for. Lord help me.

Aside from the party planning, the majority of my time lately has been spent holding and cuddling crabby, teething babies. Lots of fevers, diaper rashes and whining going on around here. Harper has 6 teeth, 4 on top and 2 on bottom. Sydney has 4, 2 on top and 2 on bottom. Teething is the wooooorst. Especially with twins. 2 babies sick and in pain at the same time is the work of the devil!

Until next time, I will leave you with a photo of my little love bugs… ❤

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My babies

Hi every one… if there is anyone still out there! I have not posted in 8 months. 8 MONTHS! The last time I wrote, I had just found out we were having 2 girls. They are now 3 months old! I have thought about many of you over the last (almost) year and wondered how you and your little ones (or your journey to have little ones) are but I just never found the time to get on here and check in! So, today I thought I would let those who are still around know what’s been going on with me. I don’t know how often I will be back on here because my life is crazy busy now, but for some reason today I got an overwhelming feeling to sign in. I am so excited that so many of you now have healthy, happy babies after the struggles we all went through to get them!

My girls were born on May 29 via scheduled c-section at exactly 38 weeks. I was as uncomfortable as can be and actually worked up until 2 days before my delivery day somehow! Sydney Evelyn was 6 lbs 6 ozs and Harper Roxanne was 7 lbs 12 ozs, healthy, BIG babies! The doctors and nurses were all gasping and screaming “holy crap!” while they pulled Harper out because she was so big for a twin! They are the most amazing, wonderful, beautiful, funny babies and I can’t believe I have lived 30 years without them! My heart is SO full of love for these little angels, I never in my life knew that I could feel like I do. People always tell you how amazing it is to be a mother, but until you actually live it and feel it, you just never fully understand. Now I do. I am so in love.

Harper Roxanne and Sydney Evelyn 🙂

HArperSyd

I will try to update more often. I hope everyone is wonderful and healthy and happy! God bless you all!! ❤

Just checking in!

It’s been a while since I have updated so I thought I would check in and let you all know I’m still alive!

I got to work today after a week off and noticed that now my WordPress is blocked! What the hell! The IT department must have done some updating over the holidays and changed some settings so I’m updating on my phone right now and not happy about it! But the good news is, Pinterest and shopping websites aren’t blocked now so I guess I have to pick my battles 🙂

Today I am 16 weeks and 4 days pregnant. We had an ultrasound the day after Christmas and found out we are having… 2 little girls!! I am so excited! My hormones have been ALL over the place lately, so the day we found out I was a little bit sad (and cried alone in my room later) that my husband didn’t get a little boy to play sports with and have a father son bond with, but I know he’s just as happy with 2 girls. I just can’t help it some days, I just feel the strong need to cry for really no reason. I’ve never really had a lot of hormonal issues in my life (ie: PMS since I never got my period really) so this is all new to me and I hate it!

I have been feeling a lot better physically, but I still have my bad days. I can now make it through most days without feeling sick! Yesterday was the first day in 12 weeks that I did not take a Zofran! Woo hoo! Baby steps! On the other hand, I am starting to feel a little bit achy, weak and had some chills last night in the middle of the night and I’m PRAYING I do not get the flu/sickness that is passing quickly through everyone around me! I have my hand sanitizer right by my side at all times but sometimes it’s unavoidable.

I have finally had to upgrade to maternity pants and belly bands! Just this past week I popped out like a balloon! I think my sister put a spell on me because she kept saying that she was hoping and praying that when she came to town for Christmas, I would have a cute baby bump. Sure enough they day she got here I woke up and felt like a whale!

I’m so happy to see so many of you are doing well and babies are growing and thriving tucked away inside! Talk to you soon!

Happy day!

We just had our 13 week ultrasound this morning! The babies are measuring perfectly on track (actually 1 day ahead)! They have strong, healthy heartbeats and were kicking and flailing all around. My husband was in shock at the amount that they were moving their little arms and legs and could not believe that they could move that much. I always love seeing his reactions during our ultrasound appointments, it’s my favorite part 🙂

The ultrasound tech asked if I cared if she “played around” with the 3D ultrasound machine and I said, DUH of course she could!! It was kind of crazy to see them in 3D, you could make out the body parts but it was still too early to be able to see anything really well. We will have to wait a little while longer to use that again and have it be beneficial but it was fun to play with!

My next ultrasound is set for January 9 and I will be 18 weeks, so hopefully by then we will be able to find out our genders!!

Btoh

I’m still alive!

That is absolutely something that I NEVER want to do again. Weeks 5-11 of this pregnancy were pure LIVING HELL. At week 5, I was diagnosed with Hyperemesis Gravidarum. I don’t even know how to describe the feeling to people who have never experienced it (like my husband who just could not understand how I was feeling). It is kind of like when you were in college and you went out that one night and got SO drunk that you woke up the next day and could not move without puking your brains out. You swore that was it and you would NEVER drink again for the rest of your life because you never want to feel like that again. Well, that is how I felt for 7 straight weeks, all day, every day. Even with the highest dose of medication they could prescribe me, it didn’t even touch it. I would carry a cup around with me every step I took in my house and used it almost every day because I could not make it to the bathroom in time. I refrained from watching TV for about 2 weeks because I was jealous of all the people that were “healthy” ( I know it sounds crazy but I was so depressed and miserable, little things would set me off).

Weeks 5-7, I somehow toughed it out and came to work (even though I would come late and leave early almost every day). I spent most of the time laying on the “sick” cot that we have in our library and running to the bathroom to puke at least every hour. Finally at week 8, I knew I could not physically make it any more so I started the FMLA paperwork and took the next 4 weeks off work. I left my house 2 times in those 4 weeks and that was only because I HAD to go to the doctor, or I never would have left. I showered MAYBE once a week… I had zero energy and even just taking a shower was a huge task and I would vomit every time I did. I laid in bed for 5 days straight once, only getting up to vomit or go to the bathroom. It was completely depressing and exhausting. I ended up losing a total of 25 pounds, and I was already slightly underweight when I became pregnant.

I finally felt good enough to come back to work last Tuesday and Wednesday, then we had the long holiday weekend so that was a nice way to ease back into it. This week I am feeling pretty good, I still take 2 Zofran pills a day and am not able to eat a ton BUT I am back to solid foods again and not just popsicles! Woo hoo! I have gained 10 pounds back in the past 2 weeks which is awesome because I was sickly skinny and a lot of people were scared for me and my babies. My biggest issue now is that the Zofran pills cause major constipation, so if I am not nauseous, I am backed up and that gives me a stomach ache. I started taking a Senokot pill every day along with the Zofran and it helps a little bit, but usually causes some cramping. There really is no winning at this point! I am just thankful that things are finally getting easier and I am starting to get back to being myself again! I can deal with a little constipation and nausea, I know it could be a (and was) way worse!

As of tomorrow, I am 13 weeks! I have an ultrasound tomorrow at 11:30 and I can not WAIT to see my babies! I have not had an ultrasound since week 8 so they are going to look a lot different! I started going to a new OBGYN since the one I have gone to for years is 20 minutes across town and I figured I will be going at least 2 times a month this winter, I wanted something much closer. So I asked my good friend who is a NNP at the hospital that I will be delivering at who I should go to and she gave me some great options. I met with one and the minute I started talking to her, I knew she was the one! She is so sweet, empathetic, and actually listens and answers any of my concerns or questions. AND the best part is she is a mom of twins so she completely understands first hand what I will be and am going through!  She was already giving me advice on support groups and breast feeding techniques at our first visit.

I am so happy to see all of my friends here are so healthy and happy and SO MANY pregnancies!! I tried to follow along while I was sick but, again, I would get frustrated and feel alone because I was the only one going through hell and every one else was working, playing, EATING and enjoying being pregnant! I have wanted to be pregnant for so long, I am so happy that I am now able to finally enjoy it and embrace the changes! I can’t wait to finally start showing and have a belly!

It feels good to be back 🙂

137 to 122…

Pounds. I’m 8w2d and that’s how much weight I’ve lost in the past 2 weeks. Not good.

I haven’t been updating much because, well, I’m literally either hanging over the toilet or sleeping. If I could describe what I believe living hell would be, this is it for sure. I would never wish this on my worst enemy.

The good news is that my babies are perfect. The doctor reminds me all the time that being this sick is a very good thing because my babies are healthy and getting what they need. It’s so hard to keep my eye on the prize at this point when all I want to do is keel over and die rather than feel like this!

I have to talk it over with my husband but I’m thinking I am going to have to take a leave from work now. I’ve been calling in so much and being sick while there that there’s no point in me even attempting to go in. This would mean that I have to use my FMLA and whatever time I take now would cut away from the time I get to spend with my babies after they are born. This really sucks you guys.

Sorry for the downer post but I really am just plain old miserable right now.

Still a little bit in shock…

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We had our first ultra sound this morning (6 weeks) and this is the outcome. Twins!! I am shocked/excited/nervous/scared… the list goes on. I have to say, I kind of had a feeling from the beginning that this was going to be the case, but I never really processed it. I am going to have 2 friggin babies. No wonder I have been so damn sick. My due date is technically June 12, but the doc says that it will more than likely be about 3 weeks earlier. I need time to process this… I am still in shock…

BTW… MLACS… you were right when you predicted I was pregnant. You were right when you predicted twins. Now let’s see if you can predict the genders 🙂

Zofran shmofran

Ugh. I’m home from work today. Woke up at 6:30 to my alarm and couldn’t even hit the snooze and put a cracker in my mouth without having to run to the toilet and puke. I’ve been trying everything. I even started Zofran a couple days ago and it doesn’t even seem to be holding a candle to my sickness. I can’t handle this anymore!

I’m not even 6 weeks yet and I’m already feeling very depressed thinking about having to deal with this for God knows how much longer. I just spent 30 straight minutes on my couch, bawling my eyes out, alone. I just don’t know what to do anymore. If I didn’t have a job that I am required to be at, I think I could deal with it a little more, but I do. Monday, I left early because I was sick. Yesterday, I had to lay down for an hour because I had the worlds worst headache on top of my nausea. And today I couldn’t even make it out of bed.

I don’t understand why God made the worst time of the pregnancy in the beginning when you CANT tell anyone! I don’t know what to do about work. I can’t keep calling in sick all the time and leaving my secretary to do all of my work without people getting pissed off… Lord help me.

I literally feel like death…

I am 5w3d pregnant today and since Saturday, I have literally feel like death. I can’t eat, I can’t move without feeling nauseas, I wake up in the middle of the night feeling nauseas, ALL day long I feel nauseas… I am miserable. This morning was the first time I actually dry heaved into the toilet multiple times. So far it hasn’t gotten that far as to make me actually hover over the toilet.

Honestly, after my whole life of suffering with GI issues, I never thought I would be one of the poor, unfortunate souls that is miserable with morning/ALL day sickness because I am used to stomach crap. But here I am. Sitting at my desk with my trash can next to me, a huge jug of water and a sleeve of saltines… the only thing I can stomach. And now I get to go sit in the courtroom all day long and try to put on a face that doesn’t say “someone please kill me”.

Help!! I am NEVER going to make it through the next couple of months if it continues like this! I have my husband on a mission today to get me some “preggie pop drops” that I keep seeing online when I search “severe morning sickness relief”. What has worked for you?! I have heard B6, ginger, peppermint… I am willing to try it ALL if something will help!

On another horrible note… my husband has been gone at training for the past week, so technically, we haven’t even really seen each other since we found out I was pregnant. So last night was the first time we did the deed since we found out. OH MY GOD!! Afterwards, I was literally keeled over in pain. The whole time during was fine but as soon as he finished I stood up and it felt like my uterus was about to explode. It was THE worst pain I have ever been in in my entire life, no joke. If I could have moved, I probably would have piled myself into the car and had him drive me to the ER. The pain was so severe and it lasted about an hour (even this morning I still have a few twinges of pain now and then). If I laid still, it would calm down a tiny bit but if I moved a muscle it would spasm again and the cramps would travel up my rib cage. What the hell?!?! There was no blood or anything else unusual, just the pain.

Of course, I did some internet searching and found quite a few threads of people having the same issue and some said it was the prostaglandins in the semen that causes contractions and muscle spasms, but why would that just start happening now??

Guys, its a miserable, terrible, horrible time for me right now!! 😦